Assallamuallaikum abang...
bang, sekarang ini tanggal 5 januari 2022... almost a week from the day abah went missing from home...
it was a rough week for all of us nak... hampir tiap hari siang malam bunda, ayah, paman taufik, buni, keluar nyisirin jalanan mencari abah... ini juga dari keluarga abah pada muter2in ibukota juga mencari kakek kamu... seru deh nak... nanti akan jadi suatu cerita tersendiri ke kamu yakinnya ketika kamu semakin dewasa.
oh iya, gak cuma kita yang dewasa yang berjuang siy bang... abang juga ikutan beradaptasi.. waktu interaksi antara bunda dan abang jadi terpotong, sedikit banyak harus mulai relaktasi lagi karena selama beberapa hari intensitas dbf abang dengan bunda berkurang. hopefully next post will be filled with positive news ya nak...
ok... bang... nanti dalam dunia kerja... ada satu jargon yang mungkin dapat membantu dalam karir abang.. "Do not re-invent the wheel" maksudnya apa... kalau ada satu hal, produk atau apapun itu... gak usah terlalu ngoyo membuat hal baru yg out of the box... tapi dari apa yang ada... coba dikembangkan jadi lebih sesuai dengan keperluan zaman abang nantinya...
termasuk blogpost yang satu ini nak, yang ini ayah mau ambil dari tulisan lama orang dan ayah re-post untuk kamu baca... judulnya adalah "ayah lupa..." bukannya ayah lupa judulnya ya bang... tapi beneran judulnya adalah "fathers forgets" tulisan dari W. Livingston Larned. ayah baca ini dari bukunya Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends & Influence People" jadi kurang lebih ceritanya seperti ini nak...
Father Forgets, by W. Livingston Larned
“Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.
There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast, I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing buy a boy – a little boy!”
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.”
Setelah ayah selesai baca ini nak, pas kamu lagi tidur menghadap ayah di kasur... sekarang aja kamu belum genap 5 bulan dan ayah mungkin suka "mendorong" kamu hal2 yang masih kamu pelajari, seperti berguling, maju, lihat ke arah suara, berbicara, tidak menangis, dll... maafin ayah ya bang... kalau mungkin nanti ada tindakan2 ayah yang kurang berkenan di abang dan terkesan memaksakan... tapi sejatinya nak... I only want to be the best dad for you son... and hopefully you can be a better person than myself.
wassallamuallaikum abang...
